This girl, who was born 18 years ago, blows my mind from time to time by saying things like the above. I wonder how she gets such a wisdom and still act like a kid from time to time. She has been loved and taken care of, yet there were times that she had to deal with deep sorrow and grieves at a much younger age than most of us. At least, compared to my childhood experience where I had no major setbacks nor challenges, she had a major issue she had to deal with. Wherever she went and whatever she did, she always had a moment of wonder, "Where is he? Why did he leave us?" She never said that, but her
After 15 or 16 years later, I did not imagine she would find him on Facebook and asked me to contact with him. Indeed, life is full of surprises. It happened last year around the time she said the words of wisdom to me when I was feeling down. I do not recall why I felt down, but perhaps I sensed something radical change was happening in my life and felt absolutely insecure and frightened. In spite of my fear, I contacted him and it turned out to be one of the best things I've ever done.
While she is building a new relationship, she witnessed a radical change in my life. I became a single again after 6 years of partnership with someone. Perhaps it was the most challenging and fruitful 6 years as well. My status changed from a single mum with no qualifications to a single mum with some qualifications. It does not sound much different, yet the connections that I made while I was getting the qualifications are beyond my imagination. It is not about better or worse, it is the diversity that I feel amazed
I find it quite interesting that as Momo is graduating her high school and entering her adulthood, our new journey has started unexpectedly again. Our bond is much stronger, yet our physical distance is growing. Thanks to all the support and considerations we received, Momo has become a thoughtful, wise and beautiful young woman. She had not realized her real potential yet. But who can see that at the age of 18? I certainly did not see my potential till much later like in my 40's. She has developed her self-esteem I believe, yet she does not have enough self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is a capacity to believe in your ability to achieve your goals. Without self-efficacy, you will simply give up on your goals when obstacles occur. I would love to study how I can facilitate to develop this essential behavior or belief in order to lead a content life.
Some may come and go from our lives, yet each person influences our perspectives towards our life. At some point, I will need to see my girl go as well and I am sure it will be a complex experience with full of joy and sorrow because "Parting is such sweet sorrow." Good news is our connection is much stronger than any physical distance. I will be her mum, no matter what and love her with all my heart and soul. And I know how blessed I am to have a person to love like this. Because I know only love define me and my life. So, I am thankful for the love I received and the love I can offer.